Allan and Bettina Collier have shared a lifetime together since they met in high school.
In a marriage that has lasted 63 years, the Colliers raised two daughters and have welcomed grandchildren and great-grandchildren into their lives.
Bettina had previously beaten cancer twice through aggressive chemotherapy.
But their life together took an unexpected turn nine years ago when Bettinaās short-term memory loss symptoms were diagnosed as Alzheimerās disease.
At the time, the Colliers were referred by their doctor to the Alzheimer Society of B.C. office in Āé¶¹AV, which has become a source of both information and support to help Allan and Bettina make adjustments in their lives brought on by the disease.
Today, the love they share together has grown stronger, and their focus is living an active lifestyle while adjusting to the realities of Alzheimerās.
āI used to golf two or three times a week but I stopped because that is about a six-hour turnaround in time, and thatās a bit too long for Bettina to be alone during a day,ā Allan said.
āSo now I do other things like shoot pool and play bridge. Those activities donāt take as long.ā
For Bettina, her husband has become her caregiver, helping her overcome her limitations.
She loves to bake but needs Allan present now to make sure she doesnāt forget any steps in the process. She canāt drive a vehicle anymore. She can go for short walks on her own near her house but avoids striking out beyond that, like venturing downtown on her own.
She spends time everyday working on word search and word hunt books to exercise her mind, and they both attend the Minds In Motion fitness and social program organized by the Alzheimerās Society every Monday.
āIt helps to have the support and Allan is a wonderful, wonderful husband. I wouldnāt change him for the world,ā Bettina said.
āFrom day to day I donāt really feel a difference because of Alzheimerās. I try not to think about it because if I do, it makes me upset and not to happy.ā
Allan summarizes their life today this way: āWeāre continuing a journey together and we keep looking at the bright side of life. Thatās all we can do. Weāve never really had a bad moment.ā
He was invited to speak about his role as an Alzheimerās caregiver at the kick-off launch event on Monday for the annual Āé¶¹AV Investors Group Walk for Alzheimerās fundraiser on Sunday, May 6, at City Park. The Colliers are walk honourees for this yearās event.
The walk and other fundraisers remain critical to financially support Alzheimerās Society programs, which Allan says are an important resource for caregivers.
āThe society has been very helpful with our situation. They help both the caregiver and the person who has Alzheimerās,ā Allan said.
āItās really hard to deal with this all on your own.ā
Mary Mandarino, a West Āé¶¹AV resident and chair of the upcoming Alzheimerās Walk, says husbands becoming caregivers for their wives stricken with dementia is becoming more common.
āItās a reversal of the traditional role model where the wife and mother is typically in the caregiver role,ā Mandarino said.
āNow all of a sudden men find themselves increasingly in that caregiver position. Thatās been a bit of an education for me to learn that. I never thought about it until I started to meet men caregivers serving that role.ā
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barry.gerding@blackpress.ca
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